The most important thing when choosing a romantic partner or starting a new romantic beginning is that you should be looking for a companion, a genuine connection instead of finding someone who should fullfill the requirements of making you completely happy, who should be able to heal you from your emotional baggage and should make all the efforts for keeping your relationship a happy place.
When you are giving someone else the responsibility of your happiness, you are actually burdening that person and when you don't get what you expected from that person, that's when disappointment and hurt puts the crack in the relationship. When someone else's doings will decide whether or not will you remain happy in your life? then what value you hold in your own eyes.
No one should be given that much power of giving or snatching the reasons of happiness from you. You should do it for yourself because when you have that power nobody can become the reason for your disappointment. Of course your partner can become the reason to add to your happiness and you can become the reason for him and you both can share eachother's happiness, giving relationship a healthy boost.
One more thing, people often expect from their romantic partners is that whatever happened in their past, whatever baggage they carry of their emotional trauma, it's the responsibility of their partners to become the stress bursters for them and that their respective partners should be able to make them feel comfortable and loved.
However no one can help you get over a stressful period or trauma better than yourself. You have that responsibility towards yourself. Your partner is not your counsellor or it's not his job to fix whatever wrong you have gone through your life. Stressing him with his responsibility only adds stress to the relationship because you have expectations that are beyond someone else's approach. Your partner can be your support system and your shoulder to cry and rely on, but that's it. He shouldn't be held responsible for your suffering. This work has to be done by your side and a good partner will also help you along the way by being your strength and you can also share with him your pain but you should know where to draw a line.
Furthermore, romantic relationships work best when equal amount of efforts are put from both the parties. When a relation is seen as a space for two individuals to grow together, adding to eachother's happiness and cutting away each other's sorrows, that relationship is the balanced one because no one is being burdened with the responsibility of other person's wellbeing.
Therefore individual work should never be sidelined for a successful relationship. You should be able to think for yourself, think of yourself and then only you can become a healthy contribution to your relationship and can make eachother's lives worth living and loving.
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